Finding Freedom With Food & Life - Dealing With Digestive Issues...

Hi bloggy friends!

I've been thinking a lot about my past struggles with digestive issues and food intolerances. More specifically my mindset and lifestyle because of it. Before coming to the realization that I had underlying digestive issues I pretty much ate/drank whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I didn't put much thought into any of it and quite honestly didn't care to do so.

Once my body started reacting negatively to the way I was treating it and I came to realize that something may be wrong I became much more cautious about what I was putting in my body. Especially because I was in and out of the doctors constantly and each one was telling me something different and giving me different diagnoses. Some said I should cut out gluten, some said dairy, some said celiac, some said nothing was wrong, etc. I began to feel restricted. I began to feel like oh my god I can't eat this because my body could react negatively which will lead me to feel awful for days. Without going into too much depth, it felt as if everything I ate left me feeling awful. I stopped allowing myself to eat so many things in fear that I would have a bad reaction or become sick. This feeling of hopelessness and restriction left me feeling depressed and anxious for quite some time. I limited myself to certain foods that my body tended to digest okay and that didn't usually leave me feeling too terrible afterwards. It was exhausting. I couldn't eat out without feeling gross. I couldn't eat a lot of home-cooked meals because I didn't want to feel sick after. I stuck to my normal foods and didn't stray from them for almost a year or so. You might be thinking, girl thats crazy and insane. But, let me tell you something. I was SO scared to upset my stomach or have an IBS flare up because they left me feeling awful for prolonged periods of time. (sometimes a week+, no joke.) It was horrific. 

As you all know, I finally came to the conclusion a few months ago that I have IBS, my body can't process dairy, and I have a severe intolerance to soy. After narrowing this down, I have been able to reevaluate the foods I eat and feel so much more free with my choices. I still have to be extra careful. I have to read labels closely. I still struggle. But, I do not feel restricted any longer. I can eat my families home-cooked meals most of the time, sometimes with a few alterations. I can eat out and order something other than just a salad. I can travel without the fear of not being able to find anything I can eat. My world and mindset around food and my body has changed. It is still challenging and frustrating at times. I still feel limited and wish I could eat some of the foods I used to be able to. Sure, its not always easy but I have grown immensely because of it. 

I don't allow my mind to feel restricted anymore. I don't allow myself to feel anxious because of my food options. People used to be extremely concerned for me. They would worry about whether or not there would be something I could eat and I totally get that. They were just looking out for me because they cared. It often led to me feeling even more anxious and terrible though. It made me feel so different and stressed me out.

Yes, I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and sometimes I wish I could go back to that. I don't really know when it all changed or why my body started to react so negatively all of a sudden. Maybe my body was sick of being treated like trash and maybe it was begging for me to take care of it. Whatever it was, it definitely made me change my ways. It made me see things more clearly and stop messing around.

Food for that period of time made me feel anxious. I still catch myself feeling anxious about it at times. I still catch myself feeling upset or bummed that I can't eat something because of my digestive issues and intolerances. I still wonder why the heck this all had to happen to me. But, I am not a victim to my issues. They have caused a lot of hard days and moments of feeling lost or hopeless, but they do not define me. They no longer restrict me from living my life or enjoying each and every day. I used to let them control me and overtake me but not anymore because I have come so far.

For a few years I was unable to fully enjoy my life because of this mindset and all of the limitations my struggles brought. The past five or six months I have been solely focusing on a new mindset. I have been focusing on allowing myself freedom from limitation and restriction. I do not think twice about the things I do, the foods I eat, or how I choose to go about my days because I spent so many days in the past doing so and missing out on some really awesome things. 

Everything happens for a reason. We are each placed with various hardships and struggles to grow and learn from. We can always overcome them even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. If you are struggling with something or feel limited or restricted, evaluate and observe what it is and if there is anything you can do to change that feeling. We must not fall or play victim to our struggles because we will never come out winning that battle. 

The picture to the right is what hard work, determination, and never giving up looks like. I no longer allow myself to feel like the victim and I continue to work on becoming the best version of myself each and every day. You dictate your life. You have the opportunity to change. You can do hard things. Don't give up and don't ever lose faith. 

-Mik