Gaining Weight is OKAY.
- Mik
- Aug 23, 2018
- 7 min read
Weight gain isn't easy. Plain and simple. I will not sit here and pretend it is. I won't tell you it's a piece of cake process. I won't sugarcoat things or lie to you, just for you to feel the exact opposite and wonder why it isn't easier for you when you are trying to go through the process yourself. I won't set unrealistic expectations or standards. Weight gain can be just as hard as weight loss. Mentally taxing. Draining. Hard sometimes. Easier at others. It's a process just like anything else in life. It's something you have to want and it's something you just do, regardless of how you may feel.
Whether you are aiming to gain weight due to a destructive past, working to reverse diet in order to rebuild your metabolism, or aiming to gain weight in hopes of gaining muscle, lets do the damn thing!!
BUT, first and foremost, lets lay all the BS out on the table. No one genuinely "wants" to gain weight purposely, and even those who do (for whatever their goals may be), will reach a point in the weight gain process where they feel really freaking uncomfortable. I've gotten to that point and I know what it feels like to wanna quit. I've said it a million times & i'll say it a million more, nothing good is going to come easy. So here's what I have to say. If you are someone that makes excuses. Leave them behind. If you're someone thats scared or fears this process, that's okay, but YOU WILL NOT let that get in the way of your long term goals. Someone that wants to tone up? Not possible. You have to gain the muscle, eat the food, and put in the work first. Cardio and light weights is not the answer. Are you someone that is scared to eat in fear of gaining weight? It is not logical to believe that one food source or food group will make you fat. Leave the fear behind and EAT the food necessary to grow and reach your goals. I am blunt and I am real because this is what I needed to hear not too long ago (even if I didn't want to).
Alrighty!! Now that we've laid it all out on the table, lets get to talking about actually gaining weight. Everybody wants to grow the booty and grow their shoulders and grow their legs, yada, yada, but NO ONE wants to deal with the extra fat that they may put on in other areas of their body during the process. NEWS FLASHHHHH!!! You can't spot reduce. You can't pick and choose where you gain muscle or where you gain fat. Don't we all wish though, right? You can't. So lets just save everyone some time and stop dreaming. Lets be realistic, okay? No matter where you hold your muscle or where you hold fat, it is going to be OKAY. My lower tummy holds fat. What do I do about it? Nothing. It is what it is. The sooner you come to recognize that and allow yourself to be content with YOUR body, the happier you'll be and the smoother this process will go.
How much food do yah have to eat to gain weight? A LOT. Can you do this intuitively? Sure, but ONLY if you are going to be objective and honest with yourself. Intuitive eating is not a way to avoid gaining weight or pro-long the process. You also need to have a firm grasp of what your body needs to function optimally, how much food your body needs to grow, and a relative understanding or estimate of the macro & micro nutrients that work best for YOUR body and goals. You have to have a clear head on your shoulders. Even if you are intuitive eating, you need to have a form of checking in with yourself (whether that be progress pictures, measurements, tracking your weight, etc.), in order to keep on track with your goals. I highly encourage you find AT LEAST one person you can hold yourself accountable to. Whether that be a friend, boyfriend, parent, etc., even me for goodness sake (reach out to me if you need someone PLZ), it just needs to be someone who will be real and honest with you. It can be tough to be objective with yourself, especially once you get further into the weight gain process. You can't let feelings and emotions get in the way.
I am going to BLOW your mind and clear up a very common misconception. Ready? Legggggoo. Lifting heavy a** weight in the gym and eating a lot of food isn't going to make yah fat. SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEEPS IN THE BACK MIK. It won't make yah fat!!!!! It's going to fuel your body. It's going to give you the energy you need to slay your lifts, life, and goals. It's going to help yah build the muscles & a create a nice, proportional physique. It'll allow you to build a physique that you can maintain LONG TERM. It gets even better though!!! Guess what? You will be able to maintain this lean(er) physique without under-eating, without doing excessive cardio, and without hating your life!!! SAY WHAT??? Sound like something you want? THEN EAT THE FOOD & LIFT DA WEIGHTS because it's the only way to grow friends!!!!! Got it? KK YAY!!
Another important aspect of gaining weight, REST. Recovery is so important. Cut the cardio. Stop overworking your body. Your body isn't going to grow if you aren't giving it R&R. If this is hard for you, push through it. You HAVE to do this. You have to trust that this is what's best for your body. If you continue to overwork your body then you will only set yourself farther behind in your long term goals.
Quick fixes don't work. They never will. Stop trying to weasel your way around discomfort because growth doesn't happen inside your comfort zone. If it did, everyone would be living the dream. The sooner you JUST DO IT, the easier this process will be. Your long term goals will come quicker if you just trust the process and trust yourself. Quick fixes ain't gonna fix anything my friend, take my word for it.
Why are you scared to put on a little weight? I want you to REALLY think this one through. Write these things down. Say them out loud. Are they rational thoughts and feelings? Maybe some are. Maybe some aren't. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what is scaring you. Plain and simple. If you want the long term outcome, you have to push through the short term hardships. Whether your long term goal is to restore your weight, put on muscle, create a fire metabolism, etc., it doesn't matter, getting uncomfortable is the ONLY way to get there. Got it dude?? Good.
Something that seriously irritates me to no end is societies spotlight and obsession with ones appearance. Let me tell you something. If you can't learn to love yourself and appreciate your body and health at every single stage, you will never be satisfied with the end results. What do I mean by this? Do you hate yourself now or dislike the way you look? What makes you think you are going to like yourself or love yourself more at the end of this process? Sure, maybe you will have your "ideal or dream" physique, but appearance does not equal happiness. Don't get it twisted and don't fall into this cycle because you will only find yourself dissatisfied.
I am damn proud of the physique I have built. I am blown away at the transformation I have made for myself, but 98% of that "proud" feeling has nothing to do with my appearance. Wanna know why? I'll tell you why. Restored hormones. A freaking amazing metabolism. I am strong, physically and mentally. I have an incredible mindset most days. I feel empowered. I feel grateful and blessed. I am on top of the world the majority of the time; not because I love my appearance, but because I love the person I have transformed into throughout this process. My appreciation for my health, happiness, and life as a whole has evolved and shown me what I am truly capable of. It has allowed me to start building a person I am proud of everyday. Someone that no longer falls victim to her situation or circumstances, but someone that works on herself, puts herself first, and doesn't give up, even when things seem near impossible (but everything & anything is possible my friend).
The best thing you could ever possibly do for yourself is learn to love yourself. Sounds cliche AF, but I whole heartedly believe self-love is the greatest of all things. It's amazing to be at ease with yourself no matter the circumstance, no matter your appearance, etc. It doesn't mean you won't ever have days of discomfort because you will (we are all human, yah silly goose), but they are few and far between when you dedicate yourself to learning self-love. You learn to become so much stronger in fighting through them and coming out stronger.
Gaining weight doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't have to be a big ordeal. It doesn't have to deteriorate you or your mindset. You have every ounce of power and strength to push through this process. I don't care who you are or what your past is. If you want something, YOU CAN. Whether you will push through the discomfort to do so or not is completely up to YOU. You determine the outcome. You decide how things play out. Excuses, fear, appearance, discomfort, it's all irrelevant if you want something bad enough. Do you want it bad enough?
I wanted it bad enough. I wanted my health back. I wanted to re-store my metabolism and hormones. I wanted to heal my digestion and gut. I WANTED IT. I wanted my family and friends to stop worrying about me. I wanted home-cooked meals. I wanted to eat out again and not fear how my stomach would react. I wanted to go out with friends. I did it, but only because I WANTED IT. I will never regret that process. I will never regret the days I felt super bloated or uncomfortable. I grew and flourished SO much during that time period.
I trusted my body. I gave it grace. I loved it no matter what. I still do and I always will. I will continue working towards optimal health everyday. I will continue fighting for me everyday. I will continue healing my gut everyday. I recommend you do the same. I recommend you stop fighting yourself. I recommend you let life run its course. Stop being your own biggest battle. Stop being your own worst critic. JUST BE. LIVE. LOVE. FIGHT.
Life is wonderful, but life is also extremely unpredictable & too short to do anything other than what makes you the happiest and best you. Keep that in mind with each and every choice you make.
-Mik <3